Healing

A year ago at this time, my family was still reeling from the death of my beloved grandmother. It was the first holiday season without her and the pain of losing her threatened to tear us apart. We were lost, each of us trying to figure out our life without her in it. Some of us clung to family, while others pushed loved ones away.

The holiday season was far from joyous.

This Thanksgiving, we felt like a family again for the first time since Grandma's been gone. There is still pain, but as I sat at the table this year and saw the smiles, heard the laughter and felt the love, I knew that God was beginning to heal us.

Life without her is not easy; it never will be. 

But, she loved us all so much that she is never far. I feel her presence often and know she would have been so happy with us this week as we carried on family traditions that she established.

There are many days I long so much to have her physically here, to hear her voice, to feel her arms wrap around me in a hug, but I know her journey was complete; God wanted her home.

Grief can't be rushed, but I saw this week that if we let Him, God will take that pain and redeem it. It won't be quick and it won't be easy and it won't be fun, but He will use it for good.

I'm also learning it's a continuous journey ... one step forward and two steps back. We've just got to keep on walking and when we can't, He'll carry us.